(Note: I originally wrote this way back April 14, 2011, so please bear my grammar here. Haha. I do not plan on editing this, yet.)
The most awaited day for couples has come. Sweetest day of the year they say. Ah, Valentine’s Day. Yadda-yadda. I couldn’t get the reason why Christmas is not considered as the sweetest day, it’s also a day for love, right?
Love is in the air indeed. At school this morning, some of my guy classmates spent their lunch breaks on buying roses, chocolates, stuff toys and etcetera. If I were them, I will spend it with my own self for some glorious food. However, human as I am, I felt jealousy within me. I am not in a relationship. But still, I don’t need one. Or do i?
Watching boys giving flowers to their girls is a favorite pastime of mine every Valentines. And I am doing it again this time. A friend of mine received three red roses, which obviously represents that famous three letter word, and shared me the news. I wonder how long that so-called ‘love’ will last. A month or two will do. I will bet a one thousand bill. For sure I will have the winning smile. I pretend to look happy for her but I am actually jealous. I want to receive something on Valentines too. But definitely not flowers, it would eventually wilt anyway. Neither chocolates nor stuff toys. The former would be great but I cannot afford to risk my weight. And the latter would also be great, but hey, I am not kid anymore and I have asthma.
What I want is some quality time to be spent with him. His free time, specifically. I do not want to have his time wasted just to be with me.
A date will sound great but not a date that is sophisticated. It makes me feel wheezy and it sounds awfully cheesy and oh, pricey. On our date, I hope he would not make me wear makeup that would make me spend three to five hours in vanity. Or let me wear skimpy or fluffy or stuffy dresses. Dresses are so not me. Neither would he let me wear stilettoes or kitten heels nor wedges that would make me look taller than him. Why would I wear something that would make me taller when I have an acceptable natural height of 5’5”?
I sat back on my chair in this old classroom, waiting for my friend who is still having some sweet nothings with her knight in shining uniform.
Valentines is no special day for me.
I still believe in love though. I still believe in people getting in relationships because of love. I believe in love at first sight, first loves, second chances and of course; marriage. But I do not want a relationship yet in this age. I’m too young to have a distraction that will affect my youth.
Ah, this might be some dilemmas of a loveless dame, waiting for one’s knight.
But if ever he comes, I have some preferences. That just cannot be avoided, eh?
I am in search for a man whose image is full of gallantry. He can be someone who knows how to make me laugh until I cry. He can be someone who knows how to control my bad habits. Definitely good in sports but basketball might be an exception – it’s too common around here. A piano player, guitar strummer, drummer boy, a vocalist with a soulful voice. A one man band kind of guy, per se. simplicity is his rule of thumb and who considers my limits. Oh wait, am I being too choosy already?
I do not mean to be a perfectionist, everyone has their own definition of perfection and those stated above is my definition.
But for sure when he comes and he does not have those preferences of mine, well who cares? Love does not appear on how we expected it to be.
She approaches me with a bright giddy smile. He’s hugging her at the back like it’s the end of the world. Then here it comes. Lip lock.
I look away and notice someone standing outside the door and looking at my direction. Seeing that I am noticing him, he walks away slowly as if nothing. I look back at my friend. They end their snogging session. ‘Got to go’ she mutters sweetly at his ear. At the back of my mind, I want to scream.
Oh well they’re not to blame.
They’re truly, madly and deeply in love.
I am not.